


Keep your head above water, but don't forget to breathe

by breakinggrace



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-07
Updated: 2016-02-01
Packaged: 2018-05-12 09:04:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5660653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breakinggrace/pseuds/breakinggrace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jamie feels both profoundly guilty that he’s making Tyler feel bad in any way, but there’s also an intense jealousy that Boston is still this important to him. It tastes sour in his mouth, an acrid taste at the back of his throat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first pic I'm posting in a very, very long time. I'm so so so nervous to post in this tag due to the plethora of amazing writers that I've enjoyed reading so much. I'm struggling to find the voices, but I hope it doesn't come across that way. I have a basic idea of how this story is going to go, but I'm terrible about changing my mind halfway through. Please feel free to yell at me about this! Constructive criticism is so so welcome, and appreciated!

The only days Jamie likes afternoon games is when it’s also a travel day. 

It means he doesn’t have to try and squeeze his 6’2” frame into an uncomfortable airplane seat and attempt (and fail) to get as much sleep as possible before the team jet lands at 2am and they’re shuttled off to a hotel only to be woken up for an 11am practice a few hours later.

An afternoon game means he can spend a little longer washing off the game-grime in the shower, get one of those ridiculously sweet drinks at the airport Starbucks that he doesn’t usually let himself indulge on, and catch up on the TV he’s fallen behind on this week.

Jamie is always one of the first of the guys to get on the plane; he’s never understood the guys that will wait around until they’re about 5 minutes from taxiing to the runway to get their seats. He would much rather get first pick of the seats, even though his seat - 3 rows in, on the left side of the plane, window seat - is by default explicitly avoided by the rest of the team. Captain’s privileges. 

Jamie has his iPad propped up on his lap, headphones in his ears, about 5 minutes into the new episode of The Walking Dead. If he’s honest with himself, he’s been resisting the urge to cover his eyes since the opening credits started rolling, but he knows that he’ll be chirped mercilessly for the rest of his career, if not his life, by the team if he does.

There’s a thump in the seat beside him and he honest to god yelps, flinching so hard his iPad goes tumbling to the floor. He can feel the heat radiating off his entire face already as he reaches down to grab the iPad from underneath the seat in front of him. He raises his eyes and is met with a just as red-faced Tyler. 

Although, Tyler’s face is so red because he’s swallowing back the howling laughter that Jamie knows is just beneath the surface. Jamie’s face crinkles into a smile at the sight, and Tyler takes it as opening to let out a small snort and giggle loud enough just for the two of them to hear. 

“You scared the shit out of me, dude” Jamie lets himself admit, laughing breezily. It’s so easy to laugh around Tyler, even when it’s at his own expense. Which definitely hasn't always been easy, considering Jamie grew up with an older brother and sister who's nickname for him when he was a fat twelve year old has stuck around into his adult life.

Tyler lets out another huff of laughter as a response as he attempts to shove his bag into the overhead compartment at the completely wrong angle. Jamie can only watch this disaster happen so long before he finds himself standing up to put the bag in for Tyler. Tyler easily steps aside, flashing him a shy grin and scooting into the aisle seat. Jamie is a control freak, sue him. Plus he likes doing things for Tyler. Again, sue him.

Jamie clicks the latch shut and goes to sit back down in his seat, as he’s stepping by Tyler he feels a firm pinch under the meat of his left as cheek. Jamie’s face flames as he realizes it’s the exact place Tyler had sucked a merciless hickey the night before.

Jamie hurriedly sits himself back down in his seat and turns to glare at Tyler to quietly, but aggressively, lecture him on the embarrassment that Jamie would be sure to endure if he popped a boner on the team plane. 

But Tyler is looking impishly back at him, his eyebrow slightly quirked up, and Jamie suddenly looses all his words. The fucker knows exactly the spot he pinched, of course he does.

“Just wanted to make sure you didn’t forget” Tyler says, like that was even in the realm of possibility. 

What had initially been intended to be an exchange of blowjobs on Tyler’s couch last night had ended up with Jamie bent over the back of it, knees digging into the cushions, being rimmed within an inch of life. Tyler had literally eaten him out to tears, although not even on his fucking deathbed would he ever admit to that. Tyler had already taken enough smug pride in the fact that he’d made Jamie come without even touching his dick, even though it had all ended up on the cushion of his couch. Tyler had just shrugged, nonchalantly wiping his mouth with the back of his hand (which was almost enough to defy nature and make Jamie hard again) and said that the cleaning ladies were coming when they were gone. 

Which, ew Tyler, what the fuck. 

But Jamie had barely been able to remember his own name, there was no way he would have been able to lecture Tyler thoroughly on how rude - and not to mention fucking disgusting - it was to leave bodily fluids for other people to clean up.

Jamie sucks with words; he always has, so he comes up with absolutely nothing close to clever say back to Tyler so he just huffs out a “yeah” while his face continues to flame. 

Tyler kicks off his shoes and leans back easily in the plane seat, stretching out his shoulder, his joints audibly popping when he does so. He turns to face Jamie, almost like he wants to kiss him and Jamie can feel himself slowly leaning in

“So” Tyler begins, Jamie’s gut instantly twists like this is going to be something he really doesn’t want to hear “how do you feel about going out with some of my Boston boys when we get there?”

Fuck.

Fucking hell motherfucking no. Fuck. No.

“Absolutely fucking not,” he snaps immediately.

Jamie is actually surprised that those words made it out, he’s usually better at veiling, albeit thinly, his profound distaste for any of those colossal fuckboy Boston friends that Tyler is somehow still close with. 

But he guesses that since 90% of the time spent with those guys Tyler is 10 sheets to the wind off Jose Cuervo or some other equally disgusting cheap bar rail liquor it has probably stopped Tyler from realizing what total dick bags those guys are.

Tyler leans back and his nostrils flare, his eyes narrowing slightly

“Really fucking nice man” he spits, Jamie can feel himself visibly wincing at the heat in Tyler’s voice

“They want to meet you, you asshole. You’ve only been my boyfriend for the last 2 years, forgive my friends for wanting to finally meet the guy who I’ve been talking about for so long” Tyler hisses, his mouth barely opening to let the words out

Jamie’s hackles are still raised from the tone of Tyler’s words, but there’s a blooming warmth spreading over him about the word boyfriend. They rarely use the title; they don’t walk around holding each other hands and going on dates. They’re a couple but they’re not out. They’re still just really good buddies to about 90% of the people they know. 

“Boyfriend?” he asks lamely, his tongue feeling heavy in his mouth. Tyler glares daggers in his direction; like this is the stupidest question he’s ever heard. And maybe it is.

“What the fuck else would you be? Have we just been fuck buddies this whole time? Because I’m on the shit end of that stick then, because I’ve been calling you my boyfriend this whole time and that’s gonna be really fucking awkward if I have to tell all my friends and family that I was wrong about this whole thing and you just like sticking your dick in me” Tyler’s chest is heaving by the end, his arms crossed across his chest like he’s shielding himself from Jamie, his eyes staring straight ahead, his jaw set

Jamie’s face flames with embarrassment, the taught anger that was bubbling under his skin now replaced with shame. Okay, so he read this one really wrong. Like, really wrong. So wrong. Shit.

He reaches for Tyler, he’s almost scared that he’ll yank his hand back. He mercifully affords Jamie the touch but he’s still not looking in his direction and it makes Jamie’s insides twist with discomfort. He presses his lips to Tyler’s knuckles, massaging the palm of his hand

“I’m a moron” Jamie murmurs into his hand. Tyler lets out a harsh snort, obviously in agreement. It takes a lot of Jamie’s willpower not to visibly bristle

“Really, I am. You know you’re not just…” he can’t bring himself to say fuck buddy in regards to Tyler, even when they were just sporadically fucking Jamie had never thought of him like just a meaningless hook up. He’s Tyler, he’s Jamie’s person. He lets out a deep breath and wills the right words to come out

“You’re not that. To me. You’re mine. You’re Tyler” its pretty eloquent for Jamie, he didn’t even say um once. 

Tyler glances at him briefly before turning away again and sticking out his jaw impossibly far. It would almost be funny except Jamie is pretty sure that laughing at Tyler right now wouldn't be doing him any favours

“I’m sorry, Ty. I just…” he struggles to find the words to describe how unbearable he finds the idea of spending any time with anyone from Boston, the team, or the city. 

The thought of having to endure even a moment of Tyler interacting with the people who were so awful to him makes Jamie’s skin feel taught and itchy. Like it’s trying to hold in all the conflicting emotions he’s experiencing but its on the brink of tearing wide open.

He huffs out a frustrated sigh; obviously he can say absolutely none of those things to Tyler, it doesn’t even make sense in his own head. He can’t even begin to imagine how badly he would butcher it if he said it out loud

“I just love you a lot” is what he settles for. 

Because in the end, that’s what its about. Jamie loves Tyler. Loves him so fiercely that it scares him, that he won’t be able to control himself if something happens to Tyler while Jamie is meant to be taking care of him. And more worryingly, that Tyler is putting himself directly in harms way by hanging out with those losers, and Jamie is helpless to stop it.

He tangles his fingers into Tyler’s and rests his chin on his shoulder, he can see a small smile tugging at the corner of Tyler’s mouth, how hard Tyler is trying to suppress it. But all his smiles meet his eyes, no matter what. Jamie’s face splits into a grin, albeit a hesitant one, and he presses a chaste kiss against the corner of Tyler’s mouth.

“Jeeze, you didn’t have to be such a sap about it” Tyler quips, but he’s turning his head to return the kiss, his eyes with that familiar twinkle. Jamie has never been so thankful for Tyler’s care free attitude, that this spat didn’t go farther than the plane.

“Fuck off” Jamie replies with absolutely no heat behind it, he smiles as he presses another kiss to Tyler's mouth, one to the tip of his nose. Tyler rests his head against Jamie's shoulder, one hand looped through Jamie's arm, a firm grip on his bicep. 

It’s silent between them for a few minutes, Jamie content to fall asleep to the even rhythm of Tyler’s breaths puffing out against his neck

“Can you just think about it?” Tyler breaks the silence, his voice barely above a whisper

“Please? It’d mean a lot…to me” Tyler sounds so small when he says it, like he doesn’t want to set off another argument, but its obviously important enough to him to risk it. 

Jamie feels both profoundly guilty that he’s making Tyler feel bad in any way, but there’s also an intense jealousy that Boston is still this important to him. It's sour in his mouth, an acrid taste at the back of his throat.

“Okay” Jamie says quietly, it sounds like its being forced out his lungs, like there’s a heavy weight sitting on his chest.

Everything in him is screaming to stick to his instincts and say no, but he can’t bear to see that distressed look on Tyler’s face anymore. He rests his hand on Tyler’s thigh, his thumb rubbing small circles while Tyler hums happily and nestles himself against Jamie’s side for the rest of the trip.

Tyler dozes off quickly, but Jamie can’t shake the uneasy feeling festering in his gut.

He doesn’t sleep a wink.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of porny filler, but who doesn't like that?

The guys are feeling lowkey when they arrive at the hotel in Boston. There are no talks of a team dinner, everyone feeling content to head to their respective rooms and decompress for the rest of the night. Jamie spots Tyler finishing up his check-in with the concierge and makes a bee-line towards him.

Jamie rests his arm across Tyler’s shoulders and leans in close

“Hey, when you’re done come up to my room, 1435”

Tyler doesn’t react with more than a nod, knows he can’t, but he knows exactly what Jamie means by the hungry look in his eyes. Jamie smiles and ruffles Tyler’s hair as platonically as possible and takes his leave.

Yeah, Jamie really sucks with words. But he’s really good at sex, and he’s going to make up for his shitty behaviour on the plane by giving Tyler the best blowjob he’s ever received. Plus, he’s still feeling unsettled and coming is always the best remedy. Especially when it involves Tyler.

He makes it up to his room, tosses his bag in the chair and busies himself with setting out all his toiletries. It feels like hours before he hears a knock on his door, but he knows its only been about 10 minutes. 

When he opens the door Tyler is standing in the hall, his ears already tinged a little pink like they get when he’s excited…and really horny. He’s dressed in sweatpants and a black v-neck exposing his flushed chest and Jamie can’t fucking wait to get his mouth on him. Jamie grabs him by the hand and pulls him inside, making sure to lock and deadbolt the door. The guys are cool with him and Tyler, but he doubts that anyone would be cool with walking in on Jamie choking on Tyler’s cock like his life depends on it.

Tyler giggles and easily wraps his arms around Jamie’s neck when Jamie presses him up against the door, bracketing him in with both of his arms. Jamie starts pressing kisses onto Tyler’s neck and chest, tongue flicking out to taste the sweat that’s already built up on his skin, its like a livewire straight to his dick and he’s going from half mast to fully hard pretty fucking quick. He presses his crotch into the heat of Tyler’s and Tyler moans when he feels Jamie’s length, dropping his arms and grabbing two handfuls of Jamie’s ass to pull him in closer. Jamie sinks his teeth into Tyler’s neck and grinds slowly against Tyler’s erection.

“Wanna suck you off” Jamie murmurs into Tyler’s neck

Tyler hums thoughtfully “Okay, but I wanna finish by rubbing off against you” he says, his voice light, but Jamie can hear the lust in it. He is so on board for rubbing off against Tyler later; it’s probably his third favourite type of sex with Tyler. And they have a lot of sex.

Jamie manhandles Tyler from the doorway on to the bed, Tyler fucking loves that Jamie is bigger than him, that he shoves him around where he wants him. Tyler had mentioned it once during their earlier hook ups that he was always the bigger guy in his relationships and had always felt weird about it. He’d told him Jamie made him feel safe, and for all the dirty, kinky shit that they get up to in bed, Tyler feeling safe is always Jamie’s priority.

They make quick work of their clothes. Tyler chuckles when Jamie gets momentarily tangled in his long sleeve shirt, he honestly considers just tearing himself out of it but he manages to get it off with all fabric intact. They’re sidetracked by each other mouth’s for a few minutes until Jamie moves just so and the tips of their cocks brush each other. The sound they both let out at the contact that is definitely audible through a hotel room wall, but Jamie can’t bring himself to care when Tyler is naked and pliant underneath him

Tyler pulls back, his eyes hooded and glassy. He looks fucking stunning and Jamie can’t stop the constricting feeling he’s getting in his chest. Tyler pulls down Jamie’s bottom lip with his thumb and lets it snap back up against his teeth, leaving his thumb resting on Jamie’s chin.

“As much as I love your mouth up here, you did mention you wanted to do something else with it…” Tyler lets the sentence drift off, but Jamie watches as he drags his thumb down the length of Jamie’s body, brushing over one of his nipples, to swipe a thumb over the tip of his own dick and bring it back to Jamie’s mouth. Jamie readily sucks Tyler’s thumb into his mouth, chasing the taste.

“I got you, babe” Jamie says and begins kissing his way down Tyler’s body

“God, I’m glad you’re smart” Tyler huffs happily, threading his fingers in Jamie’s hair and massaging his scalp gently

Jamie wastes no time getting right down to business, he’s worked Tyler up enough and mostly he wants to get his cock in his mouth. Jamie licks a long stripe up the underside of Tyler’s dick before wrapping his lips tightly around the tip and letting out a slow hum. Thankfully, Jamie knows Tyler well enough that he already has his forearm pressed across Tyler’s hips to hold him down because he bucks up so hard he probably would’ve given Jamie a concussion.

“A little eager there, Seggy?” he pops off Tyler’s dick long enough to give him an arrogant smile

“Shut the fuck up and – oh fuck Jamie” Tyler groans as Jamie, without any preamble, swallows Tyler down to the root. Jamie works Tyler in an out of his throat, the slow burn of Tyler’s cock stretching his throat will probably never fail to get Jamie on the edge. He’s actively trying to not rub himself against the bed for fear of shooting off everywhere before he gets to rub off against Tyler and that would be a real goddamn shame.

Jamie feels a tug on his hair and he pulls himself off Tyler’s dick. He looks up and meets Tyler’s hungry gaze, his bottom lip sucked into his mouth, chewing on it slightly. 

Jamie knows what he looks like. His lips are spit slick and swollen, he’s got such a haze of sex around him he doubts his eyes are anymore than half open. He places a gentle kiss to the tip of Tyler’s dick, trailing his tongue gently over the slit, not enough friction to feel particularly good, just enough to tease.

Tyler moans quietly, sitting up to lean down and kiss Jamie gently, both hands cupping Jamie’s face. It’s so tender and sweet and for some bizarre reason Jamie feels tears pricking at his eyes and that same tightness in his chest as before.

“Hey, I wanna try something a little different, is that okay?” Tyler asks, his thumb stroking Jamie’s cheek gently like he somehow knows the emotional turmoil Jamie is experiencing. Although he fiercely hopes that he doesn’t.

Jamie nods readily, anything involving Tyler right now Jamie is willing to try

“I wanna do it between your legs” Tyler murmurs, pulling back a little to look Jamie in the eyes

And um, well? Jamie’s hard on certainly hasn’t flagged, so its not a no. They’ve talked about maybe trying it the other way around, but the sex is always so good they haven’t seriously put any effort into changing it. Jamie is definitely curious about what it would feel like to have someone, Tyler, inside him. This is probably a good first step; a delightful chill runs up his spine at the thought. Okay, yeah, Jamie is down for this. 

“I’m not gonna like, stick it in you or anything, okay? You’ll still be an ass virgin” Tyler blurts out, obviously taking Jamie’s silence as a no, his eyes are wide and worried like he just asked Jamie something unspeakable

The tender moment from before is totally ruined but Jamie is nearly doubled over laughing. 

Fucking Segs, the idea of thinking something over is so foreign to him he can’t understand the 5 second pause it took for Jamie to process the request. He shakes his head and presses a kiss to the side of Tyler’s mouth.

“Yeah babe, its cool. I want to. How do you want me?”

Tyler beams and pushes Jamie over on to his side, spooning up tightly behind him, his dick nudging up against the crack of Jamie’s ass. And well, he’ll be damned but he can’t stop his hips from shoving back into it

“Slow your roll captain, gotta slick you up first” Tyler says, smacking Jamie’s hip lightly

“Dude, no captain in bed. I told you that” it honestly gets Jamie super hot, the power the title holds will never be lost on him, but Jamie is not about to risk developing some Pavlovian response to it and start popping boners in the locker room. 

Jamie’s skin prickles with anticipation as he hears Tyler rummaging around for a bottle of lube in Jamie’s luggage, he hears the top of it snap open and his hips are shoving back already. Tyler groans and meets him with a roll of his hips, his dick pressing hot and hard against him

“Fuck Jame this is gonna be so good” Tyler says, Jamie can only nod furiously in agreement, all the blood in his brain having rushed to his dick

“Hurry” he’s whining and he can’t bring himself to care, Jamie has his hands fisted in the sheets so he doesn’t start jerking himself off. However he’s pretty sure if Tyler takes any longer his willpower will eventually be overridden by the dire need to come.

Jamie hisses as Tyler trickles lube down the crack of his ass, using his fingers to spread it around in between Jamie’s thighs, his taint, he ghosts a finger over his hole and Jamie’s pretty sure the sound he lets out isn’t anywhere near dignified. 

He’s embarrassed only momentarily and then the only thing he’s thinking about is the feeling of Tyler fitting his dick in between Jamie’s thighs and crushing himself against his back. The sting of Tyler’s teeth on his shoulder blades. The fluid movement of Tyler’s thrusts.

Tyler has a crushing grip on Jamie’s hips, just above where his scars are, where its just the right side of painful. The underside of Tyler’s dick is rubbing over Jamie’s hole with every thrust. Its wonderfully torturous how he’s clenching down on nothing, how next time there might be something there. How Tyler might be there. Jamie looks down to watch the tip of Tyler’s dick emerging every few seconds, the tip slick and red.

He chokes out a sob and squeezes his legs together to make it tighter for Tyler

“God, Jame, I can feel you” Tyler groans, the pace of his hips stuttering just a little bit

“Wanna feel you in me next time. Fucking God I want it so bad” the words fall out of Jamie’s mouth easily in the moment, though he already knows he’s going to be horrified with himself when the haze of orgasm has cleared. 

But fuck it, he wants that – but more importantly he wants to come right now. He clutches on to Tyler’s ass and pushes his hips forward, encouraging him.

Tyler’s hips buck forcefully and with a loud moan in his ear, Jamie feels the ropes of come splattering on to his thighs and the bed sheets in front of him. It only takes a handful of strokes from Tyler until Jamie is coming too, adding to the mess in front of them. 

Tyler presses a kiss to the back of Jamie’s neck, rubs his hands up and down Jamie’s arms. Jamie can feel the smile on Tyler’s face

“Told you that’d be good” Tyler murmurs

“Never doubted it” Jamie is already drifting to sleep, his eyes barely able to stay open. Tyler used to tease him mercilessly about how sleepy he gets after he comes, how they aren’t ever able to have morning sex on practice days because Jamie would never be able to drag himself out of bed after. 

Jamie had told him it’s only with people he really wants to fall asleep next to after. That had shut up Tyler pretty quick. 

And that’s what Jamie wants now, he want to tangle himself with Tyler and catch up on the sleep he hadn’t gotten on the plane.

Tyler climbs out of bed and Jamie flops over on to his back, slowly drifting in and out of a comfortable sleep.

“So are you okay with that for tomorrow?”

Jamie cracks open his eyelids and props his head up on a bent arm. Tyler is standing in the doorway to the bathroom with a washcloth, completely naked, his dick not even fully soft yet. His chest and cheeks are still tinged pink, his hair sticking up sporadically. Jamie doesn’t think he’s ever seen anyone as beautiful, he can’t imagine saying no to anything Tyler asks right now.

“Whatever you want, just come sleep now” he agrees easily, patting his chest and lifting up the covers invitingly. Tyler beams and crawls into bed beside him, he gives Jamie’s thighs and dick a quick swipe the cloth and tosses it to the floor.

Tyler makes quick work of arranging them into their standard sleeping formation. Tyler half lying on Jamie’s chest, their legs tangled together with Jamie’s right arm looped protectively across Tyler’s back. 

It’s a ridiculous way to sleep, they both get way too sweaty and Jamie’s entire right side is always numb in the morning – but Jamie can’t fall asleep without Tyler’s weight on him and Tyler needs to be held all night or he has a restless sleep. 

Jamie presses his face into Tyler’s hair, squeezes his arm around him

“Love you” he whispers, his eyelids falling heavily and a deep sleep overcoming him almost instantly.

But he knows he hears Tyler whisper “I love you” back.


End file.
